AURAT KI JINDAGI KE CHAR DAUR

     

Aurat ki jindagi ke raste me yun to bahut se  mod ate hain magar iss ki jindagi ke char daur khas tor par kabile zikr hain.

1. Aurat Ka Bachpan
2. Aurat Balig hone ke baad
3. Aurat Bivi ban jane ke baad
4. Aurat maa ban jane ke baad

 Aab ham aurat ke in charo zamanon ka aur in vakhton me aurat ke farayiz aur in ke hukuk ka mukhtasar tazkira saaf saaf lafjon me tahrir karte  hin.taki har aurat in hukuk va farayiz ko ada kar ke apni jindagi ko dunya me bhi khushhal banaya aur akhirat me bhi jannat ki laa javab nematon aur daulaton se safraraz ho kar mala mal ho jaye.

1.AURAT KA BACHPAN

Aurat bachpan me apne maa-baap ki pyari beti kahlati hai iss jamane me jab tak voh na balig bachchi rahti hai shariat ki taraf se na uss par koi chiz farz hoti hai na uss par kisi kism ki zimmedariyon ka koi bhoj hota hai voh shariat ki pabandiyon se bilkul azad rahti hai aur apne maa-baap ki payri aur ladli beti bani huyi khati piti,pahanti odti aur hasti khelti rahti hai aur voh iss bat ki hakdar ho ti hai maa-baap,bhai-bahan aur sab rishte nate vale uss se pyar va mohabbat karte rahe aur uss ki dil bastagi aur diljoyi me lage rahen aur uss ki sihhat va safayi aur uss ki afiyat aur bhalayi me har kism ki intihayi koshish karte rahe taki voh har kism ki fikro aur ranjo se farighul bal aur har vakht khush va khurram aur khushhal rahe jab voh kuch bolne lage to maa-baap par lazim hai ki uss ko allah va rasool Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ka naam sunayen fir uss ko kalima vaghaira padayen jab voh kuch aur zaida samajdar ho jaye to uss ko safayi suthrayi ke dhang aur salikhe sikhayen uss ko nihayat pyar va mohabbat aur narmi ke saat insani sharafaton ki baten batayen aur achchi achchi baton ka shok aur buri baton se nafrat dilayen jab padne ke kabil ho jaye to saab se pahle uss ko quran sharif padayen.jab kuch aur zaida hoshiyar ho jaye to uss ko paki va napaki wazu va ghusul vaghaira ka islami tarika batayen aur har bat aur har kam me uss ko islami adab se agah karte rahen.jab voh saat baras ki ho jayen to uss ko namaz vaghaira jaruriyate deen ki baten talim karen aur parde me rahne ki adat sikhayen aur bartan dhone ,khane,pine,sine pirone aur chote mote gharelu kamon ka hunar batayen aur amali tor par uss se ye sab kaam lete rahe aur uss ki kahili aur be parvayi aur shararaton par rok tok karte rahe aur kharab auraton aur bad chalan gharano ke logon se mel-jhol par pabandi laga den aur un logon ki sohbat se bachte rahen ashikana ashar aur giton aur ashikhi ma'shuki ke mazamin ki kitaton se gane bajane aur khel tamashon se door rakhe taki bachcho ke akhlak va adat aur chal chalan kharab na ho jayen.jab tak bachchi balig na ho jaye in baton ka dhain rakhna har maa-baap ka islami farz hai.agar maa-baap apne in farayiz ko pura na karenge to voh sakht gunahgar honge.

2.AURAT JAB BALIG HO JAYE

Jab aurat balig ho gayi to allah va rasool Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ki taraf se shariat ke tamam ahkam ki pabandi ho gayi.ab us par namaz,roza aur haj va zakat ke tama masayil par amal karna far ho gaya aur allah tala ke hukuk aur bandon ke hukuk ko ada karne ki voh jimmedar ho gayi ab uss par lazim hai ki voh khuda ke tamam farzon ko ada kare aur chote bade tamam gunahon se bachti rahe aur ye bhi uss ke liye zaruri hai ki apne maa-baap aur badon ki tazim va khidmat baja laye aur apne chote bhaiyon bahno aur duste azizon akarib se pyar va mohabbat kare.padosiyon aur rishte nate ke tamam choton,badon ke saat un ke maratib va darjat ke lihaza se nek suluk aur achcha bartab kare.achi achi adaten shikhe aur tamam kharab adaton ko chod de aur apni zindagi ko pure tor par islami dhanche me dal kar sachchi pakki pabande shariat aur imaan vali aurat ban jaye aur iss ke saat saat mehnat va mashakkat aur sabro riza ki adat dale mukhtasar ye ki shadi ke baad apne upar ane vali tamam gharelu jimmedariyon ki malumat hasil karti rahe ki shohar vali aurat ko kis tarha apne shohar ke saat nibah harna aur apna ghar sambhalna chahiye voh apni maa aur badi buddi auraton se puch puch kar iss ka dhang aur salikha sikhe aur apne rah-sahan aur chal-chalan ko iss tarha sudhare aur samvare ki na shariat me gunahgar tahare na baradri va samaj me koi iss ko tana mar sake.
khane pine,pahanne od ne,sone jagne,bat chit gharaz har kam har bat me jahan tak ho sake khud taklif uthaye magar ghar valon ko aram va rahat pahunchaye.baghair maa-baap ki izzat ke na koi saman apne istimal me laye na kisi dusre ko de.na ghar ka ek paisa ya ek dana maa-baap ki ijazat ke baghair kharch kare.na bigahir maa-baap se puche kisi ke ghar ya idar udar jaye.gharaz har kam,har bat me maa ki ijazat aur rizamandi ko apne liye zaruri samajhe.khane,pine sine,pirone,apne badan,apne kapde aur makan va saman ki safayi garaz sab gharelu kam dhanton ka dhang sikh le aur iss ki amli adat dal le taki shadi ke baad apne sasural me neknami ke saat zindagi basar kar sake aur meke valon aur sasural valon ke dono ghar ki chahati aur pyari bani rahe.parda ka kahs tor par khayal aur dhain rakhe.gair mahram mardon aur ladkon ke samne ane jane, tak jhank aur hasi mazak se yitihayi parez rakhe.ashikhana ashAr,Akhlak ko kharab karne vali kitabon aur rasayil va akhbarat ko hargiz na dekhe bad kirdar aur be haya auraton se bhi parda kare aur hargiz kabhi in se mel jhol n rakhe khel tamasho se door rahe aur mazhabi kitaben khususan sirate mustafa va sirate rasoole Arabi,tamhide imaan aur milad sharif ki kitaben maslan "zinat ul milad" vaghaira ulmaye ahle sunnat ki tasnifat padti rahe.
Farz ibadaton ke saat nafli ibadaten bhi karti rahe.maslan tilavate quran va tasbihe fatima milad sharif padti padti rahe aur gairvin sharif va barhavi sharif va moharram sharif vaghaira ki niyaz va fatiha bhi karti rahe ki in amal se dunya va akhirat ki be shumar barkaten hasil hoti hain.hargiz hargiz bad akhida logon ki bat na sune aur ahle sunnat va jamat ke akhayid va Aamal par nihayat mazbuti ke saat khayim rahe.

3.AURAT SHADI KE BAAD

NIKAH:-

Jab ladki balig ho jaye to maa-baap par lazim hai ki jald az jald munasib rishta talash kar ke uss ki shadi kar den.rishte ki talash me khas tor se iss baat ka dhain rakhna behad zaruri hai ki hargiz hargiz kisi bad mazhab ke saat rishta na hone paye balki dindar aur pabande shariat aur mazhabe ahle sunnat ke paband ko apni rishtedari ke liye muntakhab karen.bukhari va muslim ki hadis me hai ki rasoollullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya ki aurat se shadi karne me char chizen dekhi jati hai.

1. Daulat mand
2. Khandani Sharafat
3. Khub Surati
4. Dindari

 "Lekin tum dindari ko in sab chizon par mukhaddam samjho"

 Avlad ki tamanna aur apni zaat ko badkari se bachane ki niyat ke liye nikah karna sunnat hai aur bahut bade ajro savab ka kaam hai allah tala ne quran sharif me farmaya ki.

"Yani tum log ve shohar vali auraton ka nikah kar do aur apne nek chalan gulamon aur londiyon ka bhi nikah kar do"

Hadis sharif me hai ki torat sharif me likha hai ki ....."Jis shaks ki ladki baarha baras ki umr ko pahunch gayi aur uss ne uss ladki ka nikah nahi kiya aur voh ladki badkari ke gunah me pad gayi to iss ka gunah ladki vale ke saar par bhi hoga"

Dusri hadis me hai ki Huzur Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya ki:"Allah Tala ne tin shakson ki imdad apne zimmaye karam pa li hai.

1. Voh Ghulam jo apne Aaka se Azad hone ke liye kisi Khadar rakam ada karne ka ahad kare aur apne ahad ko pura karne ki niyat rakhta ho.
2. Khuda ki rah me zihad karne vala
3. Voh Nikah karne vala ya nikah karne vali jo nikah ke zariye haram kari se bachna chahta ho"

 Aurat,Jab tak uss ki shadi nahi hoti voh apne maa-baap ki beti kahlati hai magar shadi ho jane ke baad aurat apne shohar ki bivi ban jati hai aur Aab uss ke farayiz aur uss ki jimmedariyan pahle se bahut ziyada bad jati hai voh tamam hukuk va farayiz jo balig hone ke bad aurat par lazim ho jaye the Aab in ke ilava shohar ke hukuk ka bhi bahut bada bhoj aurat ke sar par Aa jata hai jis ka Ada karna har aurat ke liye bahut hi bada farayiz hai.yad rakho ki shohar ke hukuk ko agar aurat na Aada karegi to uss ki dunyavi jindagi tabaho barbad ho jayegi aur akhirat me voh dozakh ki badkati huyi Aag me jalti rahegi aur uss ki khabr me saamp bichchu uss ko dhanste rahenge aur dono jahan me zalilon khwar aur tarah tarha ke Azabon me giraftar rahegi.iss liye shariat ke hukum ke mutabik har aurat par farz hai ki voh apne shohar ke hukuk ko Aada karti rahe aur umr bhar apne shohar ki farma bardari va khidmat guzari karti rahe.

 SHOHAR KE HUKUK:

 Allah Tala ne shoharon ko biviyon par hakim banaya hai aur bahut badi buzurgi di hai iss liye har aurat par farz hai ki voh apne shohar ka hukm mane aur khushi khushi apne shohar ke har hukm ki tabe Adari karen kuin ki allah tala ne shohar  ka bahut bada haq banaya hai yad rakho ki apne shohar ko razi va khush rakhna bahut badi ibadat hai aur shohar ko na khush aur naraz rakhna bahut bada gunah hai.Rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya ki "Agar main khuda ke siva kisi dusre ke liye sajda karne ka hukm deta to main auraton ko hukm deta ki voh apne shoharon ko sajda kiya karen."

 Aur Rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne yeh bhi farmaya hai ki"Jis aurat ki maut yesi halat me Aaye ki marte vakht uss ka shohar uss se khush ho voh aurat jannat me jayegi"

 Aur ye bhi farmaya ki "Jab koi mard apni bivi ko kisi kaam ke liye bulaya to voh aurat agarche chulhe ke pass baithi ho uss ko lazim hai ki voh ut kar shohar ke pass chali jaye"

 Hadis sharif ka matlab ye hai ki aurat chahe kitne bhi zaruri kaam me mashgul ho magar hohar ke bulane par saab kamon ko chod kar shohar ki khidmat me hazir ho jaye.

Aur Rasoollullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ne auraton ko yeh bhi hukm diya ki "agar shohar apni aurat ko ye hukm de ki pile rang ke pahad ho kale rang ka bana de aur kale rang ke pahad ko safed bana de to aurat ko apne shohar ka ye hukm bhi baja lana chahiye"

 Hadis ka matlab ye hai ki ki mushkilat se mushkil aur dushwar se dushwar kaam ka bhi agar shohar hukm de to jab bhi aurat ko shohar ki na farmani nahi karni chahiye balki uss ke har hukm ki farma bardari ke liye apni takat bhar kamar basta rahna chahiye aur rasoollullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ka ye bhi farman hai ki "shohar bivi ko apne bichone par bulaye aur aurat ane se inkar kar de aur uss ka shohar iss bat se naraz o kar so rahe to raat bhar khuda ke farishte uss aurat par lanat kart rahte hain"

 Pyari bahno.in hadison se sabak milta hai ki shohar ka bahut bada haq hai aur har aurat par apne shohar ka haq ada karna farz hai shohar ke hukuk bahut zaida hai in me se niche likhe huve chand hukuk bahut zaida kabile lihaz hain.

1. Aurat Baghair apne shohar ki Ijazat ke ghar se bahar kahi na jayen na apne rishtedaron ke ghar na kisi duste ke ghar.
2. Shohar ki ghair maujudgi me aurat par farz hai ki shohar ke makan aur malo saman ki hifazat kare aur baghair shohar ki Ijazat kisi ko bhi na makan me ane de na shohar ko choti badi chiz kisi ko de.
3.  Shohar ka makan aur maal va saman ye sab shohar ki amanaten hai aur bivi in sab chijon ki amin hai agar aurat ne apne shohar ki kisi chiz ko jan buj kar barbad kar barbad kar diya to aurat par amanat me khiyanat karne ka gunah lazim hoga aur iss par khuda ka bahut bada azab hoga.
4. Aurat hargiz hargiz koi yesa kaam na kare jo shohar ko na pasand ho.
5. bachchon ki nigahdash,in ki tarbiyat aur parvarish khususan shohar ki gair maujudgi me aurat ke liye bahut bada fariza hai.
6. Aurat ko lazim hai ki makan aur apne badan aur kapdon ki safayi sutrayi ka khas tor par dhain rakhe.Fohad maili kuchaili na bani rahe balki banav sindhar se raha kare taki shohar iss ko dekh kar khush ho jaye.hadis sharif me hai ki "behtarin aurat voh hai ki jab shohar uss ti taraf dekhe to voh apne banav singhar aur apni adavon se shohar ka dil khush kar de aur agar shohar kisi bat ki khasam kha jaye to voh uss khasam ko puri kar de aur agar shohar ghayib rahe to voh apni zaat aur shohar ke maal me hifazat aur khair khwahi ka kirdar ada karti rahi"

SHOHAR KE SAAT JINDAGI BASAR KARNE KA TARIKHA:

Yad rakho ki Miyan-Bivi ka rishta ek yesa mazbut talluk hai ki sari umr isi bandhan me raha kar zindagi basar karni hai.agar miyan-bivi me pura pura ittihad aur milap raha to iss se bad kar koi nemat nahi.aur agar khuda na kare miyan-bivi ke darmiyan ikhtilaf paida ho gaya aur jhagde takrar ki nobat Aa gayi to iss se bad kar koyi musibat nahi ki miyan-bivi dono ki jindagi jahannam ka namuna ban jati hai aur dono umr bhar ghutan aur jalan ki Aag me jalte rahte hain.

Iss Jamane me miyan-bivi ke jhagdon ka fasad iss kadar zaiyda fail gaya hai ki hazaron mard aur hazaron auraten iss bala me giriftar hai aur musalmano ke hazaron ghar iss ikhtilaf ki Aag me jal rahe hain aur miyan-bivi dono apni zindagi se bezar ho kar din raat maut ki dua yen mang karte hain.iss liye ham munasib samaj te hai ki iss makam par chand yesi nasihaten likh den ki agar mard va aurat in par amal karne lage to allah azzawajal se ummid hai ki miyan-bivi ke jhagton se muslim muashra paak ho jayega aur musalmano ka har ghar amano sukun aur aram va rahat ki jannat ban jayega.

1.Har Aurat shohar ke ghar me khadam rakhte hi apne upar ye lazim kar le vo har vakht aur har hal me apne shohar ka dil apne hat me liye rahe aur uss ke isharon par chalti rahe agar shohar hukm de ki din bhar dhup me khadi raho ya raat bhar jagti huyi muje pankha jalti raho to aurat ke liye dunya va akhirat ki bhalayi isi me hai ki thodi taklif utha kar aur sabr kar ke iss hukm par bhi amal kare aur kisi vakht aur kisi hal me bhi shohar ke hukum ki na farmani na karen.

2.Har Aurat ko chahiye ki vo apne ahohar ke mizaj ko pahachan le aur baghair dekhti rahe ki uss ke shohar ko kai kai chizen aur kon kon si baten na pasand hain aur vo kin kin baton se khush hota hai aur kon kon si baton se naraz hota hai utne baitne,sone zagne,pahanne Odne aur bat-chit me uss ki adat aur uss ka zokh kai aur kaisa hai? khub achchi tarha shohar ka mizaj pahan lene ke baad aurat ko lazim hai ki vo har kaam shohar ke mizaj ke mutabik kare hargiz hargiz shohar ke mizaj ke khilaf na koi baat kare na koi kaam.

3.Aurat ko lazim hai ki shohar ko kabi jali kati baten na sunaye na kabhi uss ke samne gusse me chilla chilla kar bolne na uss ki baton ka kadva tikha javab de na kabhi uss ko tana mare na kosne de na uss ki layi huyi chijon me yeb nikale na shohar ke makan v saman vaghaira ko hakir bataye na shohar ke maa-baap ya uss ke khandan ya uss ki shaklo surat ke bare me koi yesi baat kahe jis se shohar ke dil ko thes lage aur khamaka uss ko sun kar bura lage iss khism ki baton se shohar ka dill dukh jata hai aur rafta rafta shohar ko bivi se nafrat hone lagti hai jis ka anjam jhagde ladayi ke siva kuch bhi nahi hota yahan tak ki miyan-bivi me zabardast bigad ho jata hai zis ka natija yeh hota hai ki ya to talakh ki nobat Aa jati hai ya bivi apne maike me baithe rahne par majbur ho jati hai aur apni bavajon ke tane sun sun kar kuft aur ghutan ki bhatti me jalti rahti hai aur maike aur susaral valon ke dono khandano me bhi isi tarha yikhtilaf ki Aag bhadak ut ti hai ki kabhi kort kachahri ki nobat Aa jati hai aur kabhi mar pit ho kar mukhadmat ka ek na khatm hone vala silsila shuru ho jata hai aur miyan-bivi ki zindagi jahannam ban jati hai aur dono khandan lad bhad kar tabaho barbad ho jate hain.

4.Aurat ko chahiye ki shohar ki amdani ki haisiyat se zaida kharch na mange balki jo kuch mile iss par sabro shukr ke saat apna ghar samaj kar hasin khushi ke saat zindagi basar kare agar koi zevar ya kapda ya saman pasand Aa jaye aur shohar ki mali halat yesi nahi hai ki voh iss ko laa sake to kabhi hargiz shohar se iss ki farmayish na kare aur apni pasnd ki chizen na milne par kabhi hargiz shikva shikayat na kare na gusse se muh fulaye na tana mare,na afsos zahir kare,balki behtarin tarikha yeh hai ki aurat shohar se kisi chiz ki farmayish hi na kare kuin ki barbar ki farmayisho se aurat ka vazan shohar ki nigah me ghat jata hai.han agar shohar khud puche ki main tumhare liye kai laun to aurat ko chahiye ki shohar ki mali haisiyat dekh kar apni pasand ki chiz talab kare aur jab shohar chiz laye to voh pasand aye ya na aye magar aurat ko hamesha yehi chahiye ki voh iss par khushi ka izhar kare .yesa karne se shohar ka dil bad jayega aur uss ka hosla buland ho jayega aur agar aurat ne shohar ki layi huyi chiz ko thukra diya aur uss me yeb nikala ya uss ko hakir samaj to iss se shohar ka dil tut jayega jis ka natija yeh hoga ki shohar ke dil me bivi ki taraf se nafrat paida ho jayegi aur Aage chal kar jhagde ladayi ka bazar garm ho jayega aur miyan-bivi ki shadmani va masarrat ki zindagi khak me mil jayegi.

5.Aurat par lazim hai ki apne shohar ki surat va sirat par na tana mare na kabhi shohar ki tahkir aur uss ki na shukri kar aur hargiz hargiz kabhi iss khisam ki jali kati boliyan na bole ki haya allah. main kabhi iss ghar me sukhi nahi rahi.hay hay mere to sari umr musibat hi me kati.iss ujde ghar me Aa kar main ne kai dekha?mere maa-baap ne mujhe baad me ghonk diya ki muje iss ghar me biyah diya muj nagodi ko iss ghar me kabhi aram nasib nahi huva.hay main kis fakkad aur dal dar se biyahi gayi.iss ghar to hamesha ullu hi bolta raha.iss khism ke tano aur koson se shohar ki dil shikni yani tor par hogi jo miyan-bivi ke nazuk  talukat ki gardan par churi fer dene ke barabar hai zahir hai ki shohar iss khisam ke tano aur kosno ko suna suna kar aurat se bezar ho jayega aur mohabbat ki jagah nafrat va adavat ka ek yesa khatarnak tufan ut khada hoga ki miyan-bivi ke khush gavar tallukat ki nav dub jayegi jis par tamam umr pachtana padega magar afsos ki auraton ki yeh adat balki fitrat ban gayi hai ki voh shoharon ko tane aur kosne deti rahti hai aur apni dunya va akhirat ko tabaho barbad karti rahti hai.hadis sharif me hai ki rasoollullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallm ne farmaya ki mai ne jahannam me auraton ko ba kasarat dekha.yeh sun kar shabaye kiram Alaihi Rizwan ne pucha ki ya rasoollullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallm iss ki kai vajah hai ki auraten ba kasrat jahannam me nazar ayi.to Aap Sallallau Alaihi O Sallm ne farmaya ki auraton me do buri khaslaton ki vajah se.ek to ye ki auraten dusron par bahut zaida lan tan karti rahti hai dusri ye ki auraten apne  shoharon ki na shukri karti rahti hai chunanche tum umr bhar in auraton ke saat achche se achcha suluk karte raho.lekin agar kabhi ek zara si kami tumhari taraf se dekh lengi to yehi kahengi ki main ne tum se koi bhalayi dekhi hi nahi.

6.Bivi ko lazim hai ki hamesha ut te bait te baat chit me har halat me shohar ke samne ba adab rahe aur uss ke yejaz va ikram ka khayal rakhe.shohar jab kabhi bhi bahar se ghar me aye to aurat ko chahiye ki saab kaam chad kar ut khadi ho aur shohar ki taraf mutvajjeh ho jaye uss ki mijaz fursi kare aur foran hi uss ke aram va rahat ka intizam kare aur uss ke saat diljoyi ki baten kare aur hargiz hargiz yesi koi bat na sunay na koi yes suval kare jis se shohar ka dil dukhe.

7.Agar shohar ko aurat ki kisi bat par gussa Aa jaye to aurat ko lazim hai ki uss vakht khamosh ho jaye aur uss vakht hargiz koi yesi bat na bole jis se shohar ka gussa aur ziyada bad jaye aur agar aurat ki taraf se koi kusur ho jaye aur shohar gusse me bhar kar aurat ko bura bhala kah de aur naraz ho jaye to aurat ko chahiye ki khud rut kar aur gala fula kar na bait jaye balki aurat ko lazim hai ki foran hi aziz aur khushmad kar ke shohar se muafi mange aur haat jod kar,paon pakad kar jis tarha voh mane use mana len.agar aurat ka koyi kusur na ho balki shohar hi ka kusur ho jab bhi aurat ko tan kar aur muh bigad kar bait nahi rahna chahiye balki shohar ke samne aziz va inkisari zahir kar ke shohar ko khush kar lena chahiye kuinki shohar ka haq bahut bada hai uss ka martaba bahut buland hai apne shohar se muafi talafi karne me aurat ki koi zillat nahi hai balki ye aurat ke liye yizzat aur fakhr ki baat hai ki vo muafi mang kar apne shohar ko razi kar le.

8.Aurat ko chahiye ki vo apne shohar se uss ki amdani aur kharch ka hisab na liya kare kuin ki shoharon ke kharch par auraton ke rok tok lagane se umuman shohar ko chid paida ho jati hai aur shoharon par ghairat suvar ho jati hai ki meri bivi muj par hukumat jatati hai aur meri amdani kharch ka muj se hisab talab karti hai iss chid ka anjam ye hota hai ki rafta rafta miyan-bivi ke dilon me ikhtilaf paida ho gaya karta hai isi tarha aurat ko chahiye ki apne shohar ke kahin ane jane par rok tok na kare na shohar ke chal chalan par shuba aur bad gumani kare ki iss se miyan-bivi ke tallukat me faida va kharabi paida ho jati hai aur khamakha shohar ke dil me nafrat paida ho jati hai.

9.Jab tak sas aur sasur zinda hain aurat ke liye zaruri hai ki in dono ki bhi tabedari aur khidmat guzari karti rahe aur jahan tak mumkin ho sake in dono ko razi aur khush rakhe.barna yad rakho.ki shohar in dono ka beta hai razi aur khush rakhe.varna yad rakho.ki shohar in dono ka beta hai agar in dono ne apne bete ko dant dapat kar champ chad di to yakhinan shohar aurat se naraz ho jayega aur miyan-bivi ke darmiyan bahami talukat tahas nahas ho jayenge isi tarha apne jeton,devaron aur nanand,bhavajon ke saat bhi khush akhlakhi barte aur in sabho ki diljoyi me lagi rahe aur kabhi hargiz hargiz in me se kisi ko naraz n kare.varna dhain rahe ki in logon se bigad ka natiza miyan-bivi ke tallukat ki kharabi ke siva kuch bhi nahi.aurat ko susaral me sas aur sasur se alag thalag rahne ki hargiz kabhi koshish nahi karni chahiye.balki mil zul kar rahne me hi bhalayi hai.kuinki sas aur sasur se bigad aur  jhagde ki yehi jad hai aur ye khud sochne ki bat hai ki maa-baap ne ladke ko pala posa aur iss ummid par uss ki shadi ki,ki budape me ham ko bete aur uss ki dulhan se shara aur aram milega lekin dulhan ne ghar me khadam rakhte hi iss baat ki koshish shuru kar di ki beta apne maa-baap se alag thalag ho jaye to tum khud hi shocho ki dulhan ki iss harkat se maa-baap ko kis khadar gussa ayega aur kitni junjalahat paida hogi iss liye ghar me tarha tarha ki bad gumaniya aur khism khism ke fitna va fasad shuru ho jate hain yahan tak ki miyan-bivi ke dilon me fut paida ho jati hai aur jhagde takrar ki nobat Aa jati hai aur fir pure ghar valon ki zindagi talakh aur tallukat darham barham ho jate hain lihaza behtari isi me hai ki sas aur sasur ki zindagi bhar hargiz kabhi aurat ko alag rahne ka khayal bhi nahi karna chahiye han agar sas aur sasur khud hi apni khushi se bete ko apne se alag kar den to fir alag rahne me koi  harz nahi.lekin alag rahne ki surat me bhi ulfat v mohabbat aur mail jhol rakhna intihayi zaruri hai taki har mushkil me pure kumbe ko ek dusre ki imdad ka sahara milta rahe aur ittifak va ittihad ke saat pure kumbe ki jindagi jannat ka numuna bani rahe.

10.Aurat ko agar sasural me koi taklif ho ya koi baat na gavar guzre to aurat ko lazim hai ki hargiz maike me Aa kar chugli na khaye kuin ki sasural ki choti choti si baton ki shikayat maike me Aa kar maa-baap se karni ye bahut kharab aur buri baat hai sasural balon ko aurat ki iss harkat se be had taklif pahunchti hai yahan tak ki dono gharon me bigaad aur ladayi jhagde shuru ho jate hain jis ka anjam ye hota hai ki aurat shohar ki nazaron me bhi kabile nafrat ho jati hai aur fir miyan-bivi ki zindagi ladayi jhagdon se jahannam ka namuna ban jati hai.

11.Aurat ko chahiye ki jahan tak ho sake apne badan aur kapdon ki safayi suthrayi ka khayal rakhe.meli kucheli aur fohda na ban rahe balki apne shohar ki marzi aur mijaz ke mutabik banav singhar bhi karti rahe.kam se kam haat paon me mehandi,kanghi choti,surme kajal vaghaira ka yehtimam karti rahe.bal bikhre aur maile kuchele chudel bani na fire ki aurat ka fohda pan Aam tor par shohar ki nafrat ka bayis huva karta hai khuda na kare ki shohar aurat ke fohda pan ki vajah se mutanaffar ho jaye aur dusri aurat ki taraf tak jhank shuru kar de to fir aurat ki zindagi tabaho barbad ho jayegi aur fir uss ko umr bhar rone dhone aur sar pitne ke siva koi chara nahi rah jayega.

12.Aurat ke liye baat bhi khas tor par kabile lihaza hai ki jab tak shohar aur sas aur sasur vaghaira na kha pi le khud na khaye balki saab ko khila pila kar khud saab se akhir me khaye.aurat ki iss ada se shohar aur uss ke saab ghar volon ke dil me aurat ki khadro manzilat aur mohabbat bad jayegi.

13.Aurat ko chahiye ki sasural me ja kar apne maike valon ki bahut zaida tarif aur badayi na bayan karti rahe kuinki iss se sasural valon ko ye khayal ho sakta hai ki hamari bahu ham logon ko be khadr samajti hai aur hamare ghar valon aur ghar ke mahol ki tohin karti hai iss liye sasural vale bhadak kar bahu ki be khadri aur uss se nafrat karne lagte hain.

14.Ghar ke andar sas,nananden ya jethani,devrani ya koi dusri auraten apas me chupke chupke baten kar rahi ho to aurat ko chahiye ki yese vakht me un ke karib na jayen aur na ye justaju kare ki voh apas me khi baten kar rahi hain aur bila vazah ye bad gumani bhi na karen ki kuch mere hi mutallik baten kar rahi hongi ki iss se khamaka dil me ek dusre ki taraf se kina  paida ho jata hia jo bahut bada gunah hone ke saat saat bade bade fasad hone ka sabab ban jaya karta hai.

15.Aurat ko ye bhi chahiye ki susaral me agar sas ya nanandon ko koi kaam karte dekhe to jhat pat ut kar khud bhi kaam karne lage iss se sas nanandon ke dil me yeh asar paida hoga ki voh aurat ko apna ghamgusar aur rafike kaar balki apna madadgar samajne lagengi jis se khud ba khud sas nanandon ke dil me ek khas khisam ki mohabbat paida ho jayegi shususan sas,sasur aur nanandon ki bimari ke vakht aurat ko bad chad kar khidmat aur timar dari me hissa lena chahiye ki yesi baton se sas,sasur,nanandon balki shohar ke dil me aurat ki taraf se jazba e mohabbat paida ho jata hai aur aurat sare ghar ki nazaron me vafadar va khidmat guzar samjhi jane lagti hai aur aurat ki nek nami me char chand lag jate hain.

16.Aurat ke farayiz me ye bhi hai ki agar shohar gharib ho aur gharelu kaam kaj ke liye nokrani rakhne ki takat na ho to apne ghar ka gharelu kaam kaj khud kar liya kare iss me hargiz hargiz na aurat ki koi zillat hai na sharm.bukhari sharif ki bahut si rivayaton se pata chalta hai ki khud rasulullah Sallallau Alaihi O Sallam ki mukhaddas sahibzadi hazrate fatima Raziyallah Tala Anhu ka bhi yehi mamul tha ki vo apne ghar ka sara kaam kaj khud apne haton se kiya karti thi kuve se pani bhar kar aur apni mukhaddas pit par mashk laad kar pani laya karti thi khud hi chakki chala kar Aata bhi pis leti thi isi vajah se in ke mubarak hoton me kabhi kabhi chale pad jate the isi tarha amirul mominin hazrate abu bakkar siddiq Raziyallah Tala Aanhu ki sahib zadi hazrate asma Raziyallah Tala Aanhu ke mutallik bhi rivayat hai ki vo apne gharib shohar hazrate zuber Raziyallah Tala Aanhau ke yahan apne ghar ka sara kaam kaj apne haton se kar liya karti thi yahan tak ki unt ko khilane ke liye baghon me se khajuron ki gutliyan chun chun kar apne sar par lati thi aur ghode ke liye ghans-chara bhi lati thi aur ghode ki malish bhi karti thi.

17.Har Bivi ka ye bhi farz hai ki vo apne shohar ki amdani aur ghar ke akhrajat ko hamesha nazar ke samne rakhe ghar ka kharch iss tarha chalaye ki izzat va abru se zindagi basar hoti rahe.agar hohar ki amdani kaam ho to hargiz hargiz shohar par boj farmayisho ka bhoj na dale.iss liye ki agar aurat ne shohar ko mazbut kiya aur shohar ne bivi ki mohabbat me kharz ka bhoj apne saar par utha liya aur khuda na kare uss kharz ka Aada karna dushvar ho gaya to gharelu zindagi me pareshaniyon ka saman ho jayega aur miyan-bivi ki zindagi tang ho jayegi iss liye har aurat ko lazim hai ki sabro kanaat ke saat jo kuch bhi mile khuda ka shukr Aada kar aur shohar ki jitni amdani ho usi ke mutabik kharch kare aur ghar ke akhrajat ko hargiz hargiz amdani se bane na de.

18.Aurat ho lazim hai ki sasural me pahunch ne ke baat zid aur hatdharmi ki adat bilkul hi chod de.umuman auraton ki adat hoti hai ki jahan koi bat un ki marzi ke khilaf huyi foran gusse me Aag baghula ho kar ulat palat shuru kar deti hai ye bahut buri adat hai likin maike me chunki maa-baap apni beti ka naaz uthate hain iss liye maike me to zaida aur hatdharmi aur gussa vaghaira se aurat ko kuch zaida nuksan nahi pahunchta lekin sasural me maa-baap se nahi balki sas,sasur aur shohar se vasita padta hai in me se kon yesa hai jo aurat ke naz uthane ko tayyar hoga?iss liye sasural me aurat ki zid aur hatdharmi aur gussa aur chid-chida pan aurat ke liye be had nuksan ka sabab ban jata hai ki pure sasural vale aurat ki in kharab adaton ki vajah se bilkul hi bezar ho jate hain aur aurat saab ki nazron me zalilo khwar ho jati hai.

19.Umuman sasural ka mahol maike ke mahol se alag thalag hota hai aur sab naye naye logon se aurat ka basita padta hai iss liye saach pucho to sasural har aurat ke liye ek imtihan gaah hai jahan uss ki har harkat va sakanat par nazar rakhi jayegi aur uss ke har amal par tankhid ki jayegi.naya mahol hone ki vajah se sas aur nanandon se kabhi kabhi khayalat me takrav bhi hoga aur iss mokhe par baaz vakht sas aur nanandon ki taraf se jali kati aur tano kosno ki kadvi kadvi baten bhi sunni padegi yese mokon par sabr aur khamoshi aurat ki behtarin dhal hai aurat ko chahiye ki sas aur nanandon ko hamesha burayi ka badla bhalayi se deti rahe aur in ke tano kosno par sabr kar ke bilkul hi javab na de aur chup saad le ye behrarin tarikha amal hai yesa karte rahne se Insha allah ek din yesa ayega ki sas aur nanandon khud hi sharminda ho kar apni harkaton se baaz Aa jayegi.

20.Aurat ko sasural me khas tor par baat chit me iss chiz ka dhain rakna chahiye ki na to itni zaida baat chit kare jo sasural volon aur padosiyon ko na gavar guzre aur na itni kaam baat kare ki ninnat va khushamd ke baad bhi kuch na bole iss liye ki ye ghurur va ghamand ki alamat hai jo kuch bole soch samaj kar bole aur itni narm aur pyar bhare lahzon me baat kare ki kisi ko na gavar na guzare aur koi yesi bat na bole jis se kisi ke dil par bhi thes lage take aurat sasural valon aur rishte nate valon aur padosiyon saab ki nazaron me hardil aziz  bani rahi.