BIVI KE HUKHUK

Allah Tala ne jis tarha mardon ke kuch hukhuk Auraton par lazim farmaya hai isi tarha auraton ke bhi kuch hukhuk mardon par lazim tahara diye hain.jin ka Aada karna mardon par farz hai.chunanche quran e majid me hai.

Yani auraton ke mardon ke upar isi tarha kuch hukhuk hai jis tarha mardon ke auraton par achche bartav ke saath,

Isi tarha Rasoollallah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya hai ki "Tum me Achche log vo hain jo auraton ke saat Achchi tarha pesh Aaye"

Aur Huzur Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ka ye bhi farman hai ki "main Tum logon ko auraton ke bare me vasiyat karta hun lihaza tum log meri vasiyat ko kabul karo"

Aur ek hadis sharif me ye bhi hai ki koi momin mard kisi momina aurat se bugz va nafrat na rakhe kuinki agar aurat ki koi adat buri malum hoti ho to uss ki koi dusri adat pasandida bhi hogi.

Hadis ka matlab ye hai ki yesa nahi hoga ki kisi aurat ki tamam adaten kharab hi ho balki iss me kuch achchi kuch buri har  khisam ki adaten hogi to mard ko chahiye ki aurat ki sirf kharab adaton hi ko na dekhta rahe balki kharab adaton se nazar fira kar uss ki achchi adaton ko bhi dekha kare.bahar hal allah azzawajal va rasool Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne auraton ke kuch hukhuk mardon ke upar lazim karar de diye hain.lihaza mard par zaruri hai ki niche likhi huyi hidayaton par amal karta rahe varna khuda ke darbar me bahut bada gunahgar aur baradari aur samaj ki nazron me zalilo khwar hoga.

1.Har shohar ke upar uss ki bivi ka ye haq farz hai ki vo apni bivi ke khane ,pahanne aur rahane aur dusri zaruriyate zindagi ka apni haisiyat ke mutabik aur apni takat bhar intizam kare aur har vakht iss ka khayal rakhe ki ye allah ki bandi mere nikha ke bandhan me bandhi huyi hai aur ye apne maa-baap,bhai-bahan aur tamam azizon akharib se juda ho kar sirf meri ho kar rah gayi hai aur meri zindagi ke dukh sukh me barabar ki sharik ban gayi hai iss liye iss ki zindagi ki tamam zaruriyat ka intizam karna mera farz hai.ye rakho.jo mard apni la parvayi se apni biviyon ke nano nafka aur akhrajate zindagi ka intizam nahi karte vo bahut bade gunahgar,hukukul ibad me giriftar aur kahare kahar va azabe nar ke sajavar hain.


2.Aurat ka ye bhi haq hai ki shohar uss ke bistar ka haq ada karta rahe.shariyat me iss ki koyi had mukharrar nahi hai magar kam se kam iss khadar to hona chahiye ki aurat ki khwahish puri ho jaya kare aur vo idhar udhar tak jhank na kare jo mard shadi kar ke biviyon se alag thalag rahate hain aur aurat ke saat uss ke bistar ka haq nahi ada karte vo haqqul ibadat yani bivi ke kaq me giriftar aur bahut bade gunahgar hain.agar khud na kare shohar kisi mazburi se apni aurat ke iss haq ko na ada kar sake to shohar par lazim hai ki aurat se uss ke iss haq ko muaf kara le bivi ke iss haq ki kitni ahmiyat hai iss bare me amirul moaminin hazrate farooqe azam Raziyallahu Tala Anha ka ek vakhiA bahut zaida ibrat khez va nasihat amez hai.mankul hai ki amirul moaminin Raziyallah Tala Anhu raat ko riAya ki khabargiri ke liye shahare madina me gasht kar rahe the achanak ek makan se dardnak ashAr padne ki avaz suni.Aap usi jagah khade ho gaye aur ghaor se sunne lage to ek aurat ye shor bade hi dardnak lahje me pad rahe thi ki.

"Yani khuda ki khasam agar khuda ke azabon ka khof na hota to bila shuba iss charpayi ke kanare jumbish me ho jate"
Amirul Mominin Raziyallahu Tala Anhu ne subah ko tahakikat ki to malum huva ki aurat ka shohar jihad ke silsile me arsaye daraj se bahar gaya huva hai aur ye aurat uss ko yad kar ke ranjo gham me ye shor padti rahti hai.Amirul Moaminin Raziyallahu Tala Anhu ke dil par iss ka itna gahara asra pada ki foran hi Aap ne tamam sipah salaron ko ye farman likha bheja ki koi shadishuda foji char maa se jaida apni bivi se guda na rahe.

3.Aurat ko bila kisi bade kusur ke kabi hargiz hargiz n mare.Rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam  ne farmaya ki koi shaks aurat ko iss tarha na mare jis tarha apne gulam ko mara karta hai fir dusre vakht iss se sohabat bhi kare.

Han albatta agar aurat koi bada kusur kar baithe to badla lene ya dukh dene ke liye nahi balki aurat ki islah aur tambih ki niyat se shohar iss ko maar sakta hai magar marne me iss ka puri tarha dhain rahe ki uss ko shadid chot ya zakham na pahunche.

fikhah ki kitabon me likha hai ki shohar apni bivi ko char baton par saza de sakta hai aur vo char baten ye hai.

1. shohar apni bivi ko banav singhar aur safayi suthrayi ka hukum de lekin fir bhi vo fohad aur maili kucheli bani rahe.
2. shohar sohabat karne ki khwayish kare aur bivi bila kisi urze sharayi mana kare.
3. aurat haiz aur janabat se gusul na karti ho.
4. bila vajah namaz tark karti ho.

 In charo suraton me shohar ko chahiye ki pahle bivi ko samjhaye agar maan jaye to behatar hai varna daraya dhamkaya.agar iss par bhi na mane to iss shart ke saat marne ki ijazat hai ki muh par na mare.aur yesi sakht mar na mare ki haddi tut jaye ya badan par zakhm ho jaye.


4.Miyan-Bivi ki khush gavar zindagi basar hone ke liye jiss tarha auraton ko mardon ke jazbat ka lihaza rakhna zaruri hai isi tarha mardon ko bhi lazim hai ki auraton ke jazbat ka khayal rakhen varna jis tarha mard ki narazi se aurat ki zindagi jahannam ban jati hai isi tarha aurat ki narazi bhi mardon ke liye vabale jana ban jati hai.iss liye mard ko lazim hai ki aurat ki sirat va surat par tana na mare aur aurat ke maike valon par bhi tana jani aur nuktachini na kare. na aurat ke maa-baap aur azizon akharib ko aurat ke samne bura bhala kahe kuin ki in baton se aurat ke dil me mard ki taraf se nafrat ka jazba paida ho jata hai jis ka natija ye hota hai ki miyan-bivi ke darmiyan nachaki paida ho jati hai aur fir dono ki zindagi din-raat ki jalan aur ghutan se talkh balki azabe jan ban jati hai.


 5.Mard ko chahiye ki khabardar khabardar kabhi bhi apni aurat ke samne kisi dusri aurat ke husno jamal ya uss ki khubiyon ka zikr na kare barna bivi ko foran hi bad gumani aur ye shuba ho jayega ki shayad mere shohar ka uss aurat se koi sant-ghat hai ya kam se kam kalbi lagav hai aur ye khayal aurat ke dil ka ek yesa kanta hai ki aurat ko ek lamhe ke liye bhi sabro karar nasib nahi ho sakta.yad rakho.ki jis tarha koi shohar iss ko bardasht nahi kar sakta ki uss ki bivi ka kisi dusre mard se saj-baj ho isi tarha koi aurat bhi hargiz hargiz kabhi iss bat ki tab nahi laa sakti ki uss ke shohar ka kisi dusri aurat se talluk ho balki tazriba shahid hai ki iss muamle me aurat ke jazbat mard ke jazbat se kahi zaida bad chad kar huva karte hai lihaza iss muamle me shohar ko lazim hai ki bahut yetiyat rakhe varna bad gumaniyon ka tufan miyan-bivi ki khush gavar zindagi ko tabaho barbad kar dega.


6.Mard bila shuba aurat par hakim hai.lihaza mard ko ye haq hasil hai ki bivi par apna hukum chalaye magar fir mard ke liye ye zaruri hai ki apni bivi se kisi yese kam ki farmayish na kare jo uss ki takat se bahar ho ya vo kam uss ko intihayi na pasand ho.kuinki agarche aurat zabaran kahe vo kam kar degi.magar uss ke dil me na gavari zarur paida ho jayegi jis se miyan-bivi ki khush mijazi ki jindagi me kuch na kuch talkhi zarur paida ho jayegi.jis ka natija ye hoga ki rafta rafta miyan-bivi me ikhtilaf paida ho jayega.


7.Mard ko chahilye ki aurat ki galtiyon par islah ke liye rok tok karta rahe.kabhi sakhti aur gusse ke andaz me aur kabhi mohabbat aur pyar aur hasi khushi ke saat bhi baat chit kare.jo mard har vakht apni munch me danda bandhe firte hain.masivaye dand fitkar aur mar-pit ke apni bivi se kabhi koi baat hi nahi karte.to un ki biviyan shoharon ki mohabbat se mayus ho kar in se nafrat karne lagti hai aur jo log har vakht biviyon ka naz uthate rahte hain aur bivi laak ghaltiyan kare magar fir bhi bhigi billi ki tarha uss ke samne miyaon miyaon karte rahte hain un logon ki biviyan gustakh aur shok ho kar shoharon ko apni ungaliyon par nachati rahti hain.iss liye shoharon ko chahiye ki hazrate shaik saadi Rahamath ullah alai ke iss khol par amal karen ki

Yani sakhti aur narmi dono apne apne mokey par bahut achchi chiz hai jaise fasad kholne val zakham bhi lagata hai aur marham bhi rakh deta hai matlab ye hai ki shohar ko chahiye kin bahut hi kadva bane na bahut hi mitha.balki sakhti aur narmi moka moka se dono par amal karta rahe.


8.Shohar ko ye bhi chahiye ki safar me jate vakht apni bivi se intihayi pyar va mohabbat ke saat hasin khushi se mulakat kar ke makan se nikale aur safar se vapas ho kar kuch na kuch saman bivi ke liye zarur laye kuch na ho to kuch khatta-mitha hi leta aye aur bivi se kahe ki ye khas tumhare liye hi laya hun.shohar ki iss ada se aurat ka dil bad jayega aur voh iss khayal se bahut hi khush aur magan rahegi ki mere shohar ko muj se yesi mohabbat hai ki voh meri nazron se ghayab rahane ke baad bhi mujhe yad rakhta hai aur uss ko mera khayal laga rahta hai zahir hai ki iss se bivi apne shohar ke saat kis khadar ziyada mohabbat karne lagegi.

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9.Aurat agar apne maike se koi chiz la kar ya khud bana kar pesh kare to mard ko chahiye ki agarche vo chiz bilkul hi ghatiya darje ki ho.magar iss par khushi ka izhar kare aur nihayat hi pur tapak aur intihayi chah ke saat iss ko khabul kare aur chand alfaz tarif ke bhi aurat ke samne kah de taki aurat ka dil bad jaye aur uss ka hosla buland ho jaye.khabardar khabardar aurat ke pesh kiye huve tohfon ko kabhi hargiz hargiz na thukraye na in ko hakir bataye na in me yeb nikale.varna aurat ka dil tut jayega aur uss ka hosla past ho jayega.yad rakho ki tuta huva shisha to joda ja sakta hai magar tuta huva dil badi mushkil se judta hai aur jis tarha shish jud jane ke baad bhi iss ka dagh nahi mitta isi tarha tuta huva dil jud jaye fir bhi dil me dagh dhabba baki rah jata hai.


10.Aurat agar bimar ho jaye to shohar ka ye akhlakhi faraz hai ki aurat ki gham khwari aur timardari me hargiz hargiz koi kotahi na kare balki apni dildari va diljoyi aur bhag-dod se aurat ke dil par naksha bitha de ki mere shohar ko muj se behad mohabbat hai.iss ka natija ye hoga ki aurat shohar ke iss ehsan ko yad rakhegi.aur vo bhi shohar ki khidmat guzari me apni jaan lada degi.


11.Shohar ko chahiye ki apni bivi par yetimad aur bharosa kare aur gharelu muamlat uss ke sipurd kare taki bivi apni haisiyat ko pahachane aur uss ka vakar uss me khud yetimadi paida kare aur voh nihayat hi dilchaspi aur koshish ke saat gharelu muamlat ke intizam ko sambhale. Rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya ki aurat apne shohar ke ghar ke nigran aur muhafiz hai aur iss muamle me aurat se khiyamat me khudavande kuddus puch-gach farmayega.

Bivi par yetimad karne ka ye fayida hoga ki voh apne Aap ko ghar ke intizami muamlat me ek shobe ki jimmedar khayal karegi aur shohar ko badi had tak gharelu bakhedon se najat mil jayegi aur sukun va itminan ki zindagi nasib hogi.


12.Aurat ka uss ke shohar par ek haq ye bhi hai ki shohar aurat ke bisrar ki raaz vali baton ko dusron ke samne bayan na karen balki iss ko raaz bana kar apne dil hi me rakhe kuinki hadis sharif me aya hai ki rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya hai ki khuda ke nazdik bad tarin shakhs vo hai jo apni bivi ke pas jaye.fir uss ke parde ki baton ko logon par zahir kare aur apni bivi ko dusron ki nigahon me rusva kare.

 
13.Shoahr ko chahiye ki bivi ke samne aye to maile kuchele gande kapdon me na aya balki badan aur libas va bistar vaghaira ki safayi suthrayi ka khas tor par khayal rakhe kuinki shohar jis tarha ye chahta hai ki uss ki bivi banav singhar ke saat rahe isi tarha aurat bhi ye chahati hai ki mera shohar maila kuchela na rahe.lihaza miyan-bivi dono ko hamesha ek dusre ke jazbat va yehsasat ka lihaz rakhna zaruri hai.rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ko iss baat se sakht nafrat thi ki adami maila kuchela bana rahe aur uss ke baal uljhe rahe.iss hadis par miyan-bivi dono ko amal karna chahiye.


14.Aurat ka uss ke shohar par ye bhi haq hai ki shohar aurat ki nafasat aur banav singhar ka saman yani sabun,tel kanghi,mehandi,khushbu vaghaira faraham karta rahe.taki aurat apne Aap ko saf suthri rakh sake.aurat banav singhar ke saat rahe.


15.Shohar ko chahiye ki mamuli mamuli be bunyad baton par apni bivi ki taraf se bad gumani na kare balki iss muamle me hamesha yehtiyat aur samajdari se kam le.yad rakho ki mamuli shubhat ki bina par bivi ke upar ilzam lagana ya bad gumani karna bahut bada gunah hai.

Hadis Sharif me hai ki ek dehati ne rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ke darbar me hazir ho kar kaha ki meri bivi ke shikam se ek bachcha paida huva hai to kala hai aur mera ham shakal nahi hai.iss liye mera khayal hai ki ye bachcha mera nahi hai.dehati ki baat sun kar Huzur Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya ki kai tere pass kuch unt hai? uss ne arz kiya ki mere pas bahut zaida unt hain.Aap ne farmaya ki tumhare unt kis rang ke hain? uss ne kaha surkh rang ke hain.Aap ne farmaya ki kai in me kuch khaki rang ke bhi hain ya nahi? usne kaha:ji han,kuch unt khaki rang ke bhi hai.Aap ne farmaya ki tum bataO ki surkh unton ki nasal me khakhi rang ke unt kaise aur kahan se paida ho gaye? dehati ne javab diya ki mere surkh rang ke unton ke baap dadaon me koi khakhi rang ka unt raha hoga.uss ki rang ne iss ko apne rang me khich liya hoga.iss liye surkh unton ka bachcha khakhi rang ka ho gaya.ye sun kar Huzur Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne irshad farmaya ki mumkin hai tumhare baap dadaon me bhi koi kale rang ka huva ho.aur uss ki rang ne tumhare bachche ko khinch kar apne rang ka bana liya ho.aur ye bachcha uss ka ham shakal ho gaya.

Iss hadis se saaf zahir hai ki mahaz itni si baat pap ki bachcha apne baap ka ham shakal nahi hai Huzur Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne uss dehati ko iss ki hajazat nahi di ki vo apne iss bachche ke bare me yeh kah sake ki ye mera bachcha nahi hai.lihaza iss hadis se sabit huva ki mahaz shube ki bina par apni bivi ke upar ilzam laga dena jayiz nahi hi balki bahut bada gunah hai.


16.Agar miyan-Bivi me koi ikhtilaf ya kashidgi paida ho jaye to shohar par lazim hai ki talak dene me hargiz hargiz jaldi na karen.balki apne gusse ko zabt kare aur gussa utar jane ke baad thande dimag se soch samaj kar aur logon se mashvara le kar ye ghor kare kai miyan-bivi me nabah ki koi surat ho sakti hai ya nahi?agar banao aur nabah ki koi shakl aye to hargiz hargiz talak na de.kuin ki talak koi achchi chiz nahi hai.rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya hai ki halal chizon me sab se jaida khuda ke nazdik na pasandida chiz talk hai.

Agar khuda na khwasta yesi sakht zarurat pesh Aajaye ki talak dene ke siva koi chara na rahe to yesi surat me talak dene ki ijazat hai.varna talak koi achchi chiz nahi hai.

Baz jahil zara zara si baton par apni bivi ko talak de dete hain aur fir pachtate hain aur alimon ke pas jhut bol bol kar masala puchte firte hain, kabhi kahte hain ki gusse me talak di thi,kabhi kahte hain ki talak dene ki niyyat nahi thi,gusse me bila ikhtiyar talak ka lafz muh se nikal gaya,kabhi kahte hain ki aurat mahvari ki halat me thi,kabhi kahte hain ki main ne talak di magar bivi ne talak li nahi.halanki in gavaron ko malum hona chahiye ki is sab surat me talak pad jati hai aur baz to yesi bad nasib hian ki tin talak de kar jhut bolte hain ki main ne ek hi baar kaha tha aur ye kaha kar bivi ko rakh lete hain aur umr bhar zinakari ke gunah me pade rahate hain.in zalimo ko iss ka ehsas hi nahi hota ki tin talak ke baad aurat bivi nahi rah jati.balki voh ek yesi ajnabi aurat ho jati hai ki baghair halala karaye uss se dobara nikah nahi ho sakta khudavande karim in logon ko hidayat de (Ameen)


17.Agar kisi ke pass do biviyan ya iss se zaida ho to uss par farz hai ki tamam biviyon ke darmiyan adla aur barabari ka suluk aur bartav kare.khane,pine,makan,saman,roshani,banav singhar ki chizon gharz tamam muamlat me barabari barate.isi tarha har bivi ke pass taat guzarne ke bari mukarrar karne me bhi barabari ka khayal malhuz rakhe.yad rakho.ki agar kisi ne apni tamam biviyon ke saat yaksan aur barabar suluk nahi kiya to vo hukukul ibadat me giraftar aur azabe jahannam ka hakdar hoga.

Hadis sharif me hai ki "Jis shaqs ke pas do biviyan ho aur uss ne in ke darmiyan adla aur barabari ka bartav nahi kiya to vo kiyamat ke din maidane mahshar me iss halat me uthaya jayega ki uss ka adha badan mafluz(falij laga huva)hoga"

18.Agar bivi ke kisi kolo fel,badkhuyi,bad akhlakhi,sakht mizaji,jaban darazi vaghaira se shohar ko kabhi kabhi kuch aziyat aur taklif pahunch jaye to shohar ko chahiye ki sabro tahammul aur bardash se kam le.kuin ki auraton ka tedapan ek fitri chiz hai.

Rasoollullah Sallallahu Alaihi O Sallam ne farmaya hai ki aurat hazrate adam Alaihissalam ki sab se tedi fasli se paida ki gayi agar koi shaqs tedi fasli ko sidhi karne ki koshish karega to fasli ki haddi tut jayegi magar vo kabhi sidhi nahi ho sakegi.thik isi tarha agar koi shaqs apni bivi ko bilkul hi sidhi karne ki koshish karega to ye tut jayegi yani talak ki nobat Aa jayegi.lihaza agar aurat se fayda uthana hai to uss ke tedepan ke ba vajud uss se fayda utha lo ye bilkul sidhi kabhi ho hi nahi sakti.jis tarha tedi fasli ki haddi kabhi sidhi nahi ho sakti.

19.Shohar ko chahiye ki aurat ke akhrajat ke bare me bahut zaida bakhili aur kanzusi na kare na had se zaida fuzul kharchi kare.Apni amdani ko dekh kar bivi ke akhrajat mukharrar kare.na apni takat se bahut kam,na apni takat se bahut zaida.


20.Shohar ko chahiye ki apni bivi ko ghar ki char divari ke andar kaid kar ke na rakhe balki kabhi kabhi balidain aur rishtedaron ke yahan ane jane ki ijazat deta rahe aur uss ki saheliyon aur rishtedari vali auraton aur padosano se bhi milne jhulne par pabandi na lagaye.basharte ki in auraton ke mel jhol se kisi fitna va fasad ka andesha na ho aur agar un auraton ke mail jhol se kisi fitna va fasad ka andesha na ho aur agar un auraron ke mel jhol s kisi fitna va fasad ka andesha na ho aur agar un auraton ke mel milap se bivi ke bad chalan ya bad akhlak ho jane ka khatra ho to un auraton se mel jhol par pabandi laga dena zaruri hai aur ye shohar ka haq hai.

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